Reasons not to take a three year old to the mall...

Okay. NEVER take an anatomy- and bathroom talk- obsessed little girl to the mall. Because she may just happen to notice a 'Butt extension' (????) hanging on a rack. Then she will most likely point at it, and say in an overly loud voice, "WHAT is that?" And if you whisper to her, "Anika, shhhh. It's to make your butt look big." She just might yell, "OH! I want that, so my butt will be big and I can show it to  everyone!" Wow. And if thats not bad enough, she may, amid hysterical giggles, run to a mannequin, pat it on the butt, and then walk down the aisle yelling, still amid giggles, "I TOUCHED that girls BUTT!!! EEEEheeeeheeeHEEE!"
And you just stand there, face red, wondering why on earth your mother would leave you with her while she took everyone else to the bathroom...